Farewell Ambridge

It's hard to say goodbye.  How do you leave behind eight-and-a-half years and move on to something else?  Ambridge, Trinity, Church of the Savior, Pittsburgh, southwest Pennsylvania -- this is where our family grew into its current fullness, where we have known community and loneliness, great joy and deep depression, unity and fragmentation, intimacy and separation, bright beauty and clinging gray.

Of course, we don't leave Ambridge behind, not really.  Our years here, the relationships, my studies, the geography and weather, our experiences as individuals, as a couple, as a family -- all these have and will continue to shape who we are.  And, after all, it is what our kids know as home.  When I say "home," I still have hazy Texas images wafting through my head.  When my kids say "home," they have clear pictures of ragged Merchant Street dressed up in Christmas lights and shining with its own beauty, of the noisy, fun, and frustrating friendships of school, of sledding down our steep driveway and crashing into the fence, of long drives into Pittsburgh and feeling excited to see the skyline and cross the bridges, of various parks and restaurants and streets and kids...and our house here in Ambridge.  Our kids, for now, aren't Texans, they're Li'l Bridgers.

I won't spend the time right now to reflect deeply on our time in Ambridge.  There is too much there, and I'm too tired.  All that this time has meant and will continue to mean will unfold in the years to come.  We've had good closure, but I think it's a mistake simply to turn the page and say this chapter of our life is over.  Our Ambridge years won't fade into a barely remembered past.  They are a part of who we are, and will continue to shape who we become.

One significant theme I must mention:  God's provision.  As bleary-eyed as I am this morning, this much I see clearly.  Our Father has provided for us again and again and again and again.  He has filled in  gaps in our parenting, he has closed crevices in our marriage, he has given money when least expected, he has provided friends, teachers, pastors and counselors, he has comforted and restored us, he has brought us into places of authentic delight and simple joy.  Always what we have needed, he has provided.  Often what we have most desired, he has given.  Many times what we did not know we needed or desired he gave anyway.

About thirty minutes after I post this blog, I will take one last drive down Merchant Street, hang a right at 8th Street, take a left on Ohio River Blvd., and head out of Ambridge.  Texas is the next significant stop, then on to Uganda.  Nothing will turn out quite like we've envisioned it; nothing ever does.  These past eight-and-a-half years certainly didn't.  One thing I know, however, and of two things I am certain:  that God -- Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit -- loves us, and that he will provide.

Feeling the love in South Carolina

"I could get used to living this way!"  After saying this, Jesse flopped back onto his bed in our temporary home -- a beach house on Folly Beach, "The Edge of America."

What a way to live indeed!  After a full, warm welcome from the Gaillard family of six at the Charleston Airport, and a quick stop at Chick-Fil-A (paid for by that same family), we drove about 30 minutes to the above mentioned beach house.

Out front, the Atlantic Ocean.

Out back, beautiful marshland.

Inside, a grandkids' paradise of age-appropriate toys, hard wood floors, pool table, comfy beds, fire place, and a refrigerator and counter full of food provided by a hospitality committee from Church of the Good Shepherd.  A day did not go by without spontaneous praises being shouted out -- and we're not normally a family who does that.  God's goodness and love was so abundantly evident to us in his creation and in the hospitality and care of his people, our South Carolina family.

Needless to say, the trip turned out to be a wonderful time for our family.  Lots of walks on the beach, games of pool, playing in the ocean on cold, windy days (who cares? we're at the beach!), a few fun restaurants (Jesse discovered a love for crab legs), play dates with new friends, and a visit to historic Charleston.

 

  

 

Even better, my (Travis') mom joined us to help with the kids, which not only made it easier to make the several meetings we had scheduled, but gave Leslie and me more time together as a couple than we've had in months!

 

 

Our Partner Development time went well also.  In addition to preaching at two churches and meeting with their folks, we connected with groups and individuals from other communities within the diocese.  There is for us a growing sense of connectedness with the people in the Diocese of South Carolina.  There is a growing heart, interest, and commitment to East Africa there, and the vision God has given us of raising up a generation of Ugandans to reach the world for Christ interweaves with so much of what he is already doing in South Carolina.

There were also several moments of encouragement.  People visiting for the first time the churches where we were preaching deciding to partner with us, reconnections with old seminary friends, unexpected generosity from our host parishes (Good Shepherd and Saint John's Parish), genuine excitement in the welcome given by new friends....

One exciting development in particular.  We're asking the churches that support us to connect us with an individual, family, or small group who will act as our liaison to that community, and through them we'll weave together the communities of that church, our family, and the people of Kabale.  We've begun this with Trinity Beaver in PA with a wonderful woman named Ruth.  In South Carolina, another woman of great graciousness and care named Kits from Good Shepherd is taking on that role.  Already in getting to know these women there is a greater of sense of actually being a part of these communities, and we see the potential for the relationship to grow and deepen.  We look forward to more!

There is much more I could write about this visit, but I'm supposed to be packing boxes as we prepare to move to Texas in just a few days.  More will come after this move!

Until then, catch a glimpse of the glory and gratefulness we experienced in South Carolina with this short clip:

Sweet Thoughts from Lucy

I just have to share this.

Lucy, our 3 year old, asked me to sing Keith Green's "There Is a Redeemer" at bedtime tonight.  As I sometimes do with our nighttime songs, we talked through the verses first, discussing what they mean.  I sang to her the last verse:

When I stand in glory
I will see His face
And there I'll serve my king forever
In that holy place

I talked her through this verse, saying that one day we will get to see Jesus face to face at last (she often wishes to see Jesus), and that we'll get to serve him as our king forever.

"Yes," she murmured through the pacifier in her mouth, "we'll serve him breakfast and lunch and dinner."

I laughed, then explained that there are other ways of serving Jesus -- loving people, singing songs to him, just being with him.  "And hugging and kissing him," she added.  "But I might feel a little too shy to hug and kiss him."

"Well," I replied, "what do you want to do when Daddy comes home?"

"Run and hug and kiss him!"

"When Jesus comes and you see him, you'll feel the same way."

South Carolina

In just a few days the whole family will be headed south to spend a little over a week down in South Carolina.  I was there last May meeting with various churches and individuals, and I quickly learned why all my Carolinian friends during seminary days had such a deep yearning to return home.  I mean, I could understand why Texans missed Texas so much, but South Carolina?

Now I understand.  The people, culture, and geography of South Carolina have a unique warmth and beauty, and it's quite easy to step into their embrace, at least as visitors.  A few days of walking through Charleston and eating with the folks of South Carolina is enough to make me want more.  I'm glad to be bringing my family with me this time.

Sunday, December 6th we'll be at Church of the Good Shepherd, where my good friend Shay Gaillard pastors a wonderful community of folks.  Sunday, December 13th we'll be at St. John's, a church that has embraced us with surprising excitement and depth of commitment.  We also hope to get some time with Holy Cross, one of the first churches to partner with us.  In between we'll connect with as many other people and communities as possible, while also spending some family time together before making our final push to Texas.

(By the way, we'll gladly receive any recommendations for top-notch seafood and barbecue while we're there.)

Moving to Texas

Right after Christmas, we're moving from our home in Ambridge to my parents' home in Sunnyvale, TX -- the beautiful Ten Acres.

Originally we had planned to move before Christmas, but the schedule is too tight.  We've been focusing our energy on partner development -- writing proposals, visiting churches in the area (we've had good times with the folks at Trinity in Beaver and St. David's in Venetia), making phone calls, writing letters, and updating address lists.  We're also preparing for a week visiting the Diocese of South Carolina (December 5-14), strengthening our relationships with the churches already supporting us and seeking out other partnerships there.  In between, Leslie is beginning to pack up the house, we continue selling off what items we can through yard sales and Craig's List, I'm wrestling with doctors' offices and insurance companies to try and switch our health insurance, and the kids keep going forward with school, ballet, and gymnastics.

So we're moving to Texas right after Christmas.  Leslie and the girls will fly to TX, while my dad drives up in his pick-up to help Jesse and me finish putting things in storage and make the drive to Sunnyvale.  Once there, we'll get the kids settled into their new school, and then re-focus on partner development, spend time connecting with our teammates, the Morrow's, and hang out with family and friends in the area.

We plan to leave for Uganda as early as possible in 2010.  We still need to raise about 50% of our budget, so much prayer and work is ahead of us.  In the past several weeks, however, we've seen such encouraging signs of God's faithfulness and affirmation of our call that we're not discouraged.  We're often weary and sometimes overwhelmed, but our confidence continues to grow -- because we're confident in the One who has called us.

Happy Birthday to Me

Although I'm not thrilled about turning 39 (more on that later), I love daddy birthdays.  The days leading up to it are full of hushed voices and surreptitious card making and unintended hints and shouts of "Don't look in here!" and over-compensations ("Did you go into the basement?!  I mean, there's nothing down there, no surprise or anything, but did you go down there?  Did you see anything?!").

I was up first this morning.  Then Jesse came down for his morning tea, and immediately greeted me with a "Happy Birthday, Dad," followed by a sweet hug.  5 minutes later, Georgia came down with crazy  static hair and sleepy eyes and Paddington bear, and gave a "Happy Birthday, Daddy" and a hug.  Another 5 minutes, and then Lucy joined the growing crowd.  A quick whispered argument between the sisters ensued, then Lucy stood sullenly for a few minutes, and then out came a sweet "Happy Birthday, Daddy," and then she motioned me to come in close, and she gave me a kiss on my unshaven cheek.  That's a real gift from her -- she hates to kiss scruff, and I'm normally required to wait until later in the morning to give or receive kisses from her.  Leslie came down as I added two more tea bags, and gave me a hug as well.

The kids scattered, then came back with the cards.  Here's Georgia's:

 

The inside reads: "Happy Birthday.  Dad I love you and your a GREAT DaD love Georgia."

Here's Jesse's:

 

The outside reads: "For The Awsomest Dad Eaver."

The inside reads:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!

Once there was a dad. But he was no ordinary dad. He was the best and awsomeist dad ever!  His son thout he was cool, his daughters thout he was cool, and his wife thout he was cool. Why? HE WAS COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Dad, I do think you are cool, and it's true. Have a great birthday. From Jesse.

And Yoda is saying, "Have a good birthday you will."

And then Jesse gave me a present he had picked out himself.  Two brand new nerf swords so we could continue our evening duals.  (Our other swords are beginning to fall apart.)

After the older two left for school, Leslie, the younger two girls, and I slipped away to Cafe Des Amis in Sewickley for a birthday breakfast of yummy swiss & mushroom omelets, strawberry crepes, cappuccinos, and yogurt with fresh raspberries.

This evening we're off to a friends' house for dinner with a few friends.

I may not be thrilled about turning 39 today, but I do love doing so with my family around me.

A Part of the Whole

This past weekend was the 144th annual convention of my diocese.

(For those of you who aren't Anglican, once a year all the leadership of our diocese comes together to hear from our bishop and standing committee, and to make decisions about our life together.  The business can be as mundane as approving budgets or as exciting as welcoming new congregations into our community and hearing about who they are and what they're doing.)

So this past weekend was our 144th gathering, but it was my first time to attend.  All clergy come, as well as appointed lay people.  I was just barely recovering from several days of sickness, and in some ways barely present, self-consciously sneezing and wiping my nose off to the side, clutching my coffee for warmth.  I came both out of sense of duty to the diocese, and with the hope of making connections with folks for our mission.  I came ready to be bored.

I left realizing (and regretting) how much I've missed by skipping other diocesan events.  I will just share two reasons.

First, I need to remember and reenter the reality that my family is a part of something bigger -- bigger than just our family, bigger than just our congregation, bigger even than our mission to Uganda.  Being at the convention reawakened me to that reality.  All over the Pittsburgh area and beyond, there are individuals and communities loving God and his people in so many ways, and we're a part of that family.  Whatever we do in Ambridge or Africa is one part of a whole work that's being accomplished in and through a wonderful organism, an amazing body of Christians called the Anglican Diocese of Pittsburgh.

That's one of the reasons we're Anglican -- we're not just part of a lonely parish struggling to make it on its own.  We're part of a larger, interdependent community that shares in the trials and joys of serving God.

Second, I need to remember and reengage with the wonderful people that make up this diocese.  I saw so many women and men there about whom I thought, "I wish I had more time to get to know that person, to be with those people."  These are people following the command of Jesus to love each other, even at the cost of laying down their lives.  You see it in both their weariness and their joy.  (For one example of this, see Father Scott Homer's recent post to his blog.)

I'm grateful my family is a part of this family.

Update on Our Progress

There is a great little book called Serving as Senders that walks communities through what it means to be called to support cross cultural missionaries.  It contains the following diagram (which I incorporated into another presentation):

See that little ziz-zag line in the C area?  That's where we are.  Some days excited and motivated, some days overwhelmed and dragging -- but always moving forward, and that by God's grace alone!  And weekly we receive varying kinds of confirmation that God is faithful to his call and promise to send us to Uganda.

I (Travis) work from home now, spending my mornings in particular writing emails, creating proposals for churches, calling folks and communities on the phone.  In the afternoon we're trying to switch, and I focus on home/kid care, and Leslie steps into Partner Development mode.  It's a new rhythm of life, and it is taking a while to catch the beat.

November and December will be a bit of traveling for us.  We're visiting several different churches on the weekends in November.  Early in December the whole family will be spending a week in South Carolina visiting churches that have joined with us, and inviting others to do so.  Then, within a week or two after that trip, God willing, we'll begin our move to Texas!  More on that in a future post.

It is a difficult season for inviting people into partnership.  Not only does the recession challenge folks, but so many of the churches in our Anglican network must take into consideration present and potential litigation.  We also are growing in communicating a call to authentic partnership.  We want so much more than just getting individuals, families, and communities to send checks so that we get sent to Africa.  We really want to find ways of being in genuine relationship with our partners, and ways of facilitating relationship between them and our future community in Kabale.

I've been spending a lot of time in the earlier chapters of Hebrews recently, and am reminded again and again of the promise of God's presence and provision -- especially in fulfilling the things he has promised!  So pray for us that we remain faithful, that we return to a place of believing in the presence and provision of the Trinity in every circumstance, resting in Jesus who is knows what it is like to struggle the way we do, and who promises mercy and grace to help in our time of need.

For Reflection on All Saints' Day (Part II)

(Image from http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/images/thumbnail1.php/8a9674e9.jpg)

"On All Saints' Day, it is not just the saints of the church that we should remember in our prayers, but all the foolish ones and wise ones, the shy ones and overbearing ones, the broken ones and whole ones, the despots and and tosspots and crackpots of our lives who, one way or another, have been our particular fathers and mothers and saints, and whom we loved without ever knowing we loved them and by whom we were helped to whatever little we may have, or ever hope to have, of some kind of seedy sainthood of our own." (Frederick Buechner)

The image above, by the way, is by the Ugandan artist Eria 'sane' Nsubuga.  I'm just discovering his work.  He graciously gave me permission to use this piece on my blog.  Here is what he writes about the above piece, titled "Colud of Witnesses iii":

"This picture is based on Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders..." Uganda is a very poor country whose people are spiritually tuned to God, because unlike the West where wealthy people long declared their independence of God, we need a spiritual tonic for our very mortal existence. After all, in the words of Henry Mujunga, Africans live their lives 'in the valley of the shadow of death'."

For Reflection on All Saints' Day (Part I)

I got the following quotation from my father-in-law (Robert Montgomery) who got it from Kendall Harmon who got it from Eugene Peterson in his book Subversive Spirituality:

Because an appetite for God is easily manipulated into a consumer activity, we need these wise, sane friends as guides and companions. There are entrepreneurs among us who see the widespread hunger for spirituality as a marketplace and are out there selling junk food. The gullibility of the unwary who bought relics from itinerant monks in the Middle Ages - splinters of wood from the true cross, finger bones from the saints, a few pieces of thread from Jesus’ seamless robe - is more than matched by North Americans in matters of spirituality.

We are trained from the cradle to be good consumers. It is understandable that we seek to satisfy our hunger for God along the lines in which we have been brought up. But it is not excusable, for we have clear counsel in the Gospels to steer away form this consumer world: “Blessed are the poor. … Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me. … Love not the world nor the things that are in the world.” And our Lord’s counsel is confirmed and expanded in numerous ways by our wise evangelical ancestors in the faith.

Spirituality is not the latest fad but the oldest truth. Spirituality, the alert attention we give to a living God and the faithful response we make to him in community, is at the heart of our Scriptures and is on display throughout the centuries of Israel and the church. We have been at this a long time. We have nearly four millennia of experience to draw upon. When someone hands you a new book, reach for an old one. Isaiah has far more to teach us about spirituality than Carl Jung.

According to Plan...

(image from http://www.architecture411.com/common/notes/1/plans.jpg)

 My first visit to East Africa was in January 2005.  The first major hitch in my plan was that I my original contact in Kenya seemingly had dropped off the face of the earth (or maybe into the Rift Valley), and I therefore had no one to pick me up at the airport -- and I was in London about to board a plane.  I quickly tapped out an email, shot up a prayer, and hit send.

When I deboarded in Kenya, there was a missionary woman waiting for me.  She was the mother of the former roommate of a cousin of a friend of a friend of mine.  Here are the first words she spoke to me:

"Are you Travis?  You've just learned your first lesson about Africa.  Plan A won't work.  Neither will Plan B.  And you can forget about Plan C."

My brief time in Kenya and Uganda confirmed her words, as have many missionaries and East Africans since.

But you know what?  I realized last week that it's not so different here in the States.  All I wanted on Thursday was a haircut (and a Cafe au Lait from that great little French place in Sewickley). I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say my hair is longer today rather than shorter, so obviously plans A-G didn't work.  Driving home frustrated I began thinking about  this at each of the 4 stoplights, and for some reason I kept hearing the refrain in my head, "...slain from the foundation of the world" (Rev. 13.8).

As I reflected on the surprising connection between a frustrated haircut and an apocalyptic text, I had the following thought: God is outside time.  (Hardly original, I know. ) Right from the foundation of the world, according to Scripture, the Lamb was slain.  This event is the center of gravity for all of humanity's history.  Yet, from our perspective as linear, time-bound beings, it didn't happen until the 30's AD.  However, we read of the crucifixion and its outflow happening at the creation of the world. Since God exists eternally and in eternity, his plans don't necessarily follow a linear path.

And there's the rub.

As a follower of Jesus, I live according to God's plan, not my own plans.   I'm quite linear, as a human living in time.  God is not. That's why I'm often frustrated; that's why he isn't.  Underneath my frustration about my foiled haircut attempt is the fear that I'm running out of time.  Time isn't an issue for its Creator.  He is focused on a deeper work in me, in my family, in our communities, in our world -- his plan.

For just a moment, at the third stoplight as I thought about all this, I was able to be present to that greater work, that plan.  And I was at rest.  By the time I pulled in my driveway, of course, the stress began to build again.  These past several days, however, I've tried to make a practice of returning the third stoplight.

Hoisting the Sales

We cannot create the wind or set it in motion, but we can set our
sails to catch it when it comes; we cannot make the electricity, but
we can stretch the wire along upon which it is to run and do its work;
we cannot, in a word, control the Spirit, but we can so place
ourselves before the Lord, and so do the things He has bidden us do,
that we will come under the influence and power of His mighty breath.

(Streams in the Desert, p. 181)

(Photo from djpd's photostream)

This quotation summarized what we were hearing from God in early June of this year. We didn't know when the wind would blow -- when the Spirit would finally send us to Uganda -- but it was clear it was time to ready ourselves in a more radical way.

Now, almost 4 months later, we're seeing a stirring in the sails.  Our support steadily trickles in, more people and churches are expressing interest, I've left my work at Trinity, Leslie has started packing up our house, we're preparing to have a Yard Sale to say goodbye to most of our things....  We're living like we're leaving!

Because we are.

Here's a snapshot for those who are just joining us in our story.  In 2005, God made it clear he was calling us to Uganda.  What started as a small desire for our family to be shaped by East African Christians has grown into a vision for joining that African family in raising up a generation of Ugandans to reach the world for Christ!

(Baluka is one of those East Africans!)

So, four years later (and four years later than we had planned), we're going to be joining the faculty, staff, and students of Bishop Barham University in Kabale, Uganda.  I'll be overseeing their computer lab and teaching biblical studies, and all of us will be cultivating relationships in this wonderful community.

We'll also be joined by the Morrow family, a wonderful gift from God!  (Check out their bravescaredwarrior blog.)

 

(Yep, their kids -pictured here - look a lot like our older three.)

(see what I mean?)

  

While teaching, working in the computer lab, and working in the hospital (Morrows) will be our primary roles there, at the heart of our work is this vision of raising up a generation of East Africans to reach the world for Christ. Uganda has been doing this for a long time already, and the Christian community in Kabale has been a significant part of this work.  But there is more to be done, and they and God have invited us to join them.  We have lots of ideas, but we'll begin simply by living, learning, and loving with them.  And, as we go, we're being prepared, shaped and sent by Global Teams, who consistently reminds us that we are to be yearning toward "seeing the heart of Christ in the skin of every culture."

 

So, the wind is beginning to blow.  There is a lot between here and there, and the seas seem pretty chaotic and choppy to us at times.  That's why we're grateful to be following One who walks on water and hushes waves with a word -- and that's why we need you with us.