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I have always heard that it is better to give than to receive. After a year in Uganda, I am seeing that it is equally important to receive as to give because without receiving, there can be no gift.
One of the things I love about Ugandans is that they receive without complaint or condition. Imagine serving afternoon tea to a guest on your front porch. In Uganda, you would never hear:
- "Do you have any soy milk?"
- "Sorry, I'm on a no-cookie diet this week."
- "I really shouldn't have black tea this late in the day; do you have any herbal tea?"
- "I prefer honey, not sugar... Equal is even better."
- "Is this peanut butter organic?"
- "I can't sit for tea, I'm sorry I have to run... maybe next time?
- "I only eat whole grain bread" or "That butter is too high cholesterol for me!
- "I'll just have water, thanks."
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| Washing hands before tea |
I can tell you that it brings a lot of joy and simplicity to life -- to gratefully take what is given and to be thankful in the moment. I personally have a lot to learn in this department. I have flat out rejected gifts from family & friends, and in doing so, I have robbed the giver of the joy of giving. How wonderful it is to give a gift that comes from the love & generosity in your heart and to have it received with that same love & generosity. It doesn't matter the size or importance of the gift. What matters is the love that is extended & received between the giver & the recipient.
Another example that impacted me recently was when I had collected some odds & ends of worn out clothing the kids had outgrown, including one brown shoe -- there was only one because Jesse had lost the other shoe at the Rwandan border...still not sure how that happened exactly. ( I have learned not to throw anything like this out with the trash because it will be sorted and pulled out of the trash anyway. It's not trash; it's just gently used;) So, after I put everything in a bag, I took it over to my neighbor because there isn't a Goodwill store nearby and I didn't know what to do with the items. When she answered the door, I explained that not all of the clothes were in good shape, and that there was also a boy's shoe without a match. She smiled and took the bag and said, "Thank you so much, I'm sure we will find a good home for everything, even the shoe."
As I walked back home, I realized how quietly profound her gracious reception of me and my bag of throw away items had been. She could have said, "Oh, thanks, but no thanks.... I don't want your used clothing. What can I possibly do with these things?" or, "Sure, I'll take the bag of clothes, but not the shoe. Who will want only one shoe?" Of course a bag of second hand clothes is hardly a wonderful gift, but it did start me thinking about giving and receiving and how I felt joy when my neighbor received me and did not reject my small contribution.
So, little by little, I am trying to make an effort to be a better receiver, to say, "yes" when someone offers -- even if what is on offer doesn't fit my need or my schedule or my diet or my sense of fashion. What harm is there in receiving a gift with a grateful heart and then deciding what to do with it later? So what if dried apricots are not your favorite snack or if lavender is not a flattering color on you, or if the stuffed bear someone is giving your kid is missing an eye and will definitely need to be washed? I'm trying to remember to smile and say "thank you," and to enjoy the moment and the love & friendship that is being offered. I have Ugandans to thank for that!
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| Leslie receiving lunch from Sharon, one of our workers and friends. |
